P.T. Barnstormer's Carbon Offsets

Coskata Energy Makes Money the Old Fashioned Way...

2008-01-28T14:49:00.000-05:00

...they earn it. (Due credit to Smith Barney for the original)

Coskata is developing a process that it claims can make ethanol from waste like old tires, as opposed to food like corn, at a cost of a dollar a gallon or less. In contrast to big agribusiness that wants ethanol mandates, laws to force motorists to use ethanol as opposed to gasoline, and subsidies for corn growers, Coskata plans to make money the old fashioned way.

Even though ethanol's energy content is far less than that of gasoline, dollar a gallon ethanol (even with a markup for the distribution and retail parts of the supply chain) should be a lot cheaper than $3.00 a gallon gasoline. If Coskata can make this process work, motorists won't have to be told or encouraged to buy vehicles with engines that can handle E85 (85% ethanol), they will demand such vehicles from Detroit.

"We make money the old fashioned way; we earn it." This is a concept that Al Gore, the Climate Action Partnership, and Philips Electronics should all think about.

Postscript: No, Coskata is not publicly traded. We checked.

Live Earth = Front for Royal Philips Electronics climate profiteering

2007-07-01T12:09:00.000-05:00

Live Earth is backed by Royal Philips Electronics, which wants legislation to ban incandescent light bulbs. This is simply corporate profiteering at its worst.

While Philips says the purpose of this legislation is to "increase energy efficiency," its real purpose is to force people to buy Royal Philips Electronics products that they would not buy unless laws forced them to do so. If this legislation ever passes, I will stock up on a lifetime supply of full-spectrum incandescent bulbs. If the bulbs were really eye-friendly and cost-efficient, the marketplace would drive their purchase. No legislation was needed to make people trade in their horses and carts for automobiles, or slide rules for electronic calculators and coimputers. The fact that Philips is pushing for self-serving legislation to force people to buy its products (along with our own experience with Philips' products) tells us everything we need to know.

We're all for energy efficiency, and we saw some full-spectrum compact fluorescent lights that promised to save something like $40 or $50 in energy over their lifetimes. Something that delivers 100 watts of light for 25 watts of power--a no-brainer, if the light was as friendly as incandescent light. This comes to about a 40-60% annual return on the investment, so we decided to try these bulbs. It turns out that their "full spectrum" light is so eye-unfriendly that we can use them only for incidental lighting and not for reading. These were not made by Philips, but we assume that Philips' are no better (given its push for legislation). The bottom line is that Philips, and the other compact fluorescent light makers, are not up to the job of making bulbs that will make incandescent ones obsolete.

"Not up to the job" is our general perception of Philips, given our experience with a Norelco shaver (so poorly designed for maintainability that we had to use a soldering iron to replace the rechargable battery) and a DVD recorder that just stopped working after about 2 years of ownership. We will not buy anything from Philips in the future if we can possibly avoid it. It is no surprise that this company needs legislation to force people to buy its products.

CAP = Climate Action Partnership = Climate Action Profiteers

Al Gore, UN call on Martians to join Kyoto Treaty

2007-03-20T20:40:00.000-05:00

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2007/02/070228-mars-warming.html

2005 data from NASA's Mars Global Surveyor and Odyssey missions revealed that the carbon dioxide "ice caps" near Mars's south pole had been diminishing for three summers in a row.

Habibullo Abdussamatov, head of space research at St. Petersburg's Pulkovo Astronomical Observatory in Russia, says the Mars data is evidence that the current global warming on Earth is being caused by changes in the sun.

"The long-term increase in solar irradiance is heating both Earth and Mars," he said.

We are waiting for Al Gore and the United Nations to demand that Mars join the Kyoto Treaty. Maybe the Martians' heat rays are contributing to their planet's global warming as well. Meanwhile, someone ought to talk to those Jovians about all that methane (a greenhouse gas far worse than carbon dioxide) in their planet's atmosphere...

Beware of the Blob: Al Gore's latest

2007-03-10T17:06:00.000-05:00

Al Gore would like to remind everyone that The Blob, which was frozen about fifty years ago by characters played by Steve McQueen and others, was dropped in the Arctic to keep it from thawing out. Al Gore says we have to pay carbon taxes, buy carbon offsets from his company, and destroy our standard of living to keep the Blob from thawing out and eating everyone.

Well, not really, but it makes as much sense as anything else he says.

Al Gore: I just shoveled 15 inches of your global warming off my sidewalk

2007-03-06T02:04:00.000-05:00

My electric heating bill was at a record high this February. Perhaps Al Gore should send me money to cover my heating bills (i.e. purchase my global cooling) to compensate for whatever global warming he is causing by flying cross-country in private jets and running a house that uses more energy in a month than most people's houses use in a year.

Carbon Offsets and Carbon Credits

2007-03-06T01:55:00.000-05:00

Seen advertised on the Internet, for only $39.99. (Note that "emitting" is spelled "admitting").

I am offering a life free of guilt from your excessive use of carbon admitting
products. You no longer have to feel like you are directly responsible for the destruction of our planet. I am selling carbon credits to those who wish to pay a small price for helping save our planet. Anyone that wants to keep their lifestyle can continue that lifestyle while lessening their carbon footprint through me. I will use less energy, use less fossil fuels, and possibly drive a smaller car if i raise the funds while you can continue driving your SUV and flying cross-country as often as you want. It costs very little to help the environment so very much.

Upon the receiving of your payment, you will receive a certificate of thanks and appreciation for your contribution to saving our planet.

All proceeds will go to the enhancement of our automobile for its efficiency in admitting carbon greenhouse gases and methane.

Remember, if there are people in the world stupid enough to believe Al Gore, they are stupid enough to believe this sort of thing as well.

Kyotoists announce Carbon Tax on Beans

2007-03-03T16:05:00.000-05:00

Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
The more you eat,the more you toot
The more you toot,the better you feel.
So eat your beans with every meal!

We heard that the Kyotoists are proposing a carbon emission tax on beans, noting that methane gas is a far more potent greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide.
Perhaps Al Gore can buy flatulance credits from his own company, thus making him feel even better as he toots while eating beans.

Carbon offsets for sale online

2007-03-02T18:41:00.000-05:00

These are actual carbon offsets being offered over the Internet. Like we said, there is a sucker born every minute!

I have a Carbon Footprint of 26 but to the highest bidder I will live on a Carbon Footprint of 19 for one month. If you want more months then multiply the highest bid by the amount of months and send that amount to me. Thank you.

==========

Pay me for your Carbon offsets and let me do all the work for you. If you have already done all you can personally, then the next step is to help others start becoming environmentally responsible. I will guarantee NOT to drive my huge gas guzzling truck pictured for more than 1,000 miles for the summer and fall of 2007 ending October 31. This truck is equipped with a 454 cubic inch engine and gets about 10 mpg (8 if I am towing something). It is my everyday driver which I intend to continue driving every day unless someone pays me not to. Imagine the amount of gasoline that will not be used and the amount of air pollution that will be prevented!

I will also plant 500 evergreen tree seedlings this summer as well just for good measure. I will also plant an additional 100 seedlings for every $1,000. over the starting price.

================

I have found that my carbon footprint is half what the average family in the UK is. I will offset your carbon emissions by transferring my carbon debit to you by certificate for one year. If the bidding goes over $10,000 I will salvage my SUV and buy a vehicle that is more planet friendly. Good luck! [Buy it now for only $10,000]

=====================

Hello fellow environmentalists!

Are you worried about global warming? Do you lie awake at night in fear that the planet will reach that dreaded point of no return? Do you want to do something to stop the planetary catastrophe that is coming, yet don't want to compromise your current lifestyle? Never fear, I am here to put your mind at ease. Now, you too can do your part to halt global warming without changing a single thing in your life. I am willing to offset the carbons you emit into the atmosphere by sacrificing a routine of mine. Win this auction, and I will refrain from traveling for one day (24 hours) thereby eliminating the need for me to use my carbon emitting automobile. Since I do not work on weekends, this auction will apply to one of the days of the week, of my choosing. My driving time varies only slightly from day to day. This auction will put your mind at ease knowing that while you're on the road, someone will not be. I will send the winning bidder photos of the mileage in my car at the beginning of the day I stay home, and the beginning of the next day, along with dates and times. Bid high and often, because global warming will not wait for auction watchers. How much is the environment worth to you? Thank you.

*****BONUS*****

The winning bidder will receive a photo of a tree that I will plant in my yard, to further offset carbon emissions. [Minimum bid $1000]

=====================

I will wash clothes in cold water, change all my light bulbs to CFL's, and I'll
stop driving my Ford F150 and buy a Toyota Prius.
Light Bulbs = 1213 lbs.
offset per year
Water = 1232 lbs. offset per year
Car = 30,032 lbs offset
per year
I am willing to do this for the next 5 years
Total carbon offset
= 162,385 lbs. of Carbon Offset
[Minimum bid $29,999]

Al Gore's Tale (with due credit to Geoffrey Chaucer for the original)

2007-03-02T18:20:00.000-05:00

In medieval times, a pardoner was a charlatan who sold people indulgences, or pardons for their sins. You could even buy pardons for the souls of deceased relatives, so as to reduce their time in Purgatory. Al Gore and his friends have come up with a modern equivalent: the "carbon offset" to make up for your greenhouse gas emissions.

Now, good men, Earth forgive you each trespass,
And keep you from the sin of greenhouse gas.
My carbon offsets cure and will suffice,
So that it gains me gold, or silver brings,
Or else, I care not- brooches, spoons or rings.
You must embrace fully Al Gore's line of bull
While o'er your eyes we will pull the wool!
An offset certificate I'll give you, anon,
And into environmental bliss you'll go, each one.
For I'll absolve you, by Kyoto's special power,
You that send me money, as Green this hour
As you were born.
And lo, sirs, thus I preach.
And the United Nations, who is our souls' great leech,
So grant you each his offset to receive;
For that is best; I will not you deceive.
But, sirs, you must swallow my whole tale;
I've carbon credits in my pouch that cannot fail,
As good as Kyoto Treaty ever saw, I vow,
The which I got by kindness of Al Gore.
If dollars your change of heart and mind reveal,
You'll get my absolution while you kneel.
Come forth, and send me your lucre bright,
And quickly I'll set your consciences aright;
Or else receive a carbon credit as you wend,
All new and fresh as every mile shall end,
So that you offer me each time, anew,
More gold and silver, all good coins and true.
It is an honour to each one that's here
That you may have a competent pardoner
To give you carbon offsets to you acquit,
For all greenhouse gases you may emit.